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• (312): View more from Illinois

  She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.

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• (347): View more from New York

  I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Swine flu is the new snow day.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.

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• (858): View more from California

  this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.

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• (914): View more from New York

  The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off

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• (427): View more from

  Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon

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