I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
