Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
