we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
