If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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