yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
