The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
