I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
