I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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