Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
