i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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