so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
