it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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