I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
