I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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