get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
