He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You took a bar mat shot.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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