That's when you crack a 10am beer
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
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I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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