I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
