I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
did you just send me my own nude
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