You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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