What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
