Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
