Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Randomize
