New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
