We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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