This is not my ceiling
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
