I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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