Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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