we have officially lost it.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The uberlube is also flammable
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
