covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
