Will you blow on my dice?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
