No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
