They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
