you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
