yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
