Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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