you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
