i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
