I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
