Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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