so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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