He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
