What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sext me about skeletons
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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