; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
