That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
