I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
