best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
