just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
