yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
